Conversation on the Walk to Work
Deb is on her way to work. She is about to walk by a Grocery Store but the sidewalk is blocked by cartons from the morning food shipment. Random Employee tries to clear the way.
Random Employee: Sorry about this-a. You’ll be able to pass-a in a moment.
Deb: Don’t worry, I’m in no rush. Just on my way to work.
Random Employee slams box on the pavement.
Random Employee: I told ya it will be cleared-a in a moment. I can only move-a so fast.
Deb: Please, take your time.
Random Employee grows more and more annoyed with Deb.
Random Employee: No need-a for your attitude. I’m just doing-a my job.
Deb: I don’t have an attitude. I’m totally fine with this.
Random Employee: You sarcastic Murray Hill girls-a are all-a the same.
Deb: Ugh. I do not live in Murray Hill.
Conversation with Doorman
Deb walks by her Doorman with a cup of ice cream in hand. Doorman shakes his head.
Doorman: Too much icecream.
Deb: What?
Doorman:You need to stop with the ice cream, Deb.
Deb:I don’t eat that much ice cream.
Doorman: You do. And you know what? You need to stop before it’s too late.
Conversation While Working as a Production Assistant
Deb works on a television show as a production assistant. Production Coordinator has asked Deb to join her in Random Producer’s office to discuss a lunch run.
Random Producer only addresses Production Coordinator during the conversation.
Random Producer: There’s a Greek place on Pico Blvd. I’m not sure exactly where it is but that’s where I need her to get my lunch.
Production Coordinator: Don’t worry. Deb will find it.
Deb: Um.
Random Producer: There is only one plate that I like there. Everything else is terrible, so make sure she only gets me that one. I can’t remember what it was though, but that’s what I need her to order.
Production Coordinator: Don’t worry. Deb will figure it out.
Deb: Um.
Random Producer: I’m starving and have to eat before my meeting, so I need her to be back in twenty minutes.
Production Coordinator: Don’t worry. Deb is on it, right Deb?
Deb: Um, well…
Random Producer: Seriously, twenty minutes, starting now…
Conversation with a NYC Cab Driver
Deb is in a cab. The Cab Driver pulls over to let Deb off.
Deb: Oh, um, I said 93rd and 3rd, not 1st.
Cab Driver: No, you said 1st.
Deb: No, I said 3rd.
Cab Driver: This is my job lady, my job is to take people where they say they want to go. You said 1st.
Deb: Ok, well, now take me to 3rd.
Deb sits in silence as the cab makes it’s way to 3rd.
Cab Driver: Actually, yes, you are right. I now remember. You did say 3rd ave.
Deb doesn’t say anything.
Cab Driver: I apologize to you. I was wrong.
Deb: No problem.
Cab Driver: Are we okay?
Deb: Huh?
Cab Driver: Are we good?
Deb: Yeah, yeah we’re good.
Cab Driver: You’re not just saying that?
Deb: What?
Cab Driver: You’re not just saying that we’re good when we’re not?
Deb: Yes, we’re good.
Cab Driver: It doesn’t sound like we’re good. Do you do that a lot? Tell people you’re okay when you’re not? Never admit how you are feeling? You can’t go through life like that.
Deb: Um.
Conversation with Mother
Deb is on the phone with her Mother. Mother is giving Deb notes on a short story she wrote. Deb interrupts.
Deb: Okay. Got it. Thank you.
Mother: You don’t take criticism very well.
Deb: What are you talking about? I just said “thank you”.
Mother: Yes, but your tone was “f*ck you”.
Deb: I would never say that to you.
Mother: I know, and that’s why you said “thank you” when you wanted to say “f*ck you”.
Conversation During Yoga
Deb is in a yoga class. The Yoga Instructor walks around the room. He reaches the end of his motivational speech.
Yoga Instructor: You exist.
Sweaty Yoga Random: I exist.
Yoga Instructor: Yes, good. Shout it out. I exist.
Deb rolls her eyes as she struggles through tree pose. Yoga Instructor marches over to her.
Yoga Instructor: No one can deny that you exist. What? It looks like you have something to say.
Deb: No.
Yoga Instructor: Say it.
Deb: Um, well, some people don’t know I exist.
Yoga Instructor: Are you trying to be deep or self deprecating? Get back into your pose.
Conversation at a Bar
Deb is at a bar with friends in NYC. Random Guy approaches her.
Random Guy: Hey, I’m sorry I never called you.
Deb: Excuse me?
Random Guy: I’m sorry I never called you.
Deb: Oh, um. You must be confusing me with someone else. I’ve never met you.
Random Guy: Good, cause I didn’t want to call that girl anyway but I’d love to call you.
Deb: Huh?
Random Guy: Can I get your number?
Deb: Oh. Um.
Random Guy: Sorry, I was using a line on you. Did it work?
Deb: Not really, sorry.
Random Guy: Hmmm. Why not?
Deb: Really?
Random Guy: Yeah.
Deb: Well, first, you pretend to confuse me for some other girl. And then, you admit to never calling this girl, even though you supposedly asked for her number.
Random Guy: Right.
Deb: Right.
Random Guy: So?
Deb: So, no.
Random Guy: Really?
Deb looks around the bar checking out the Randoms.
Deb: Um, well, actually, okay.
Conversation on a First Date
Deb is on a first date in Los Angeles. They are going to a baseball game at Dodger Stadium. The game starts at 5pm. Date and Deb are late due to Date’s car not starting. Date parks car far from stadium to avoid parking fees in the lot. They walk uphill to Stadium.
Deb notices that there are no cars driving up to the Stadium.
Deb: It’s kinda weird that we’re the only people here.
Date: Probably because the game has already started and we’re late. Sorry about my car breaking down. Guess that’s strike one for me, huh?
Deb: Ha, yeah. Actually, I think it’s more like strike two since you’re making me walk uphill in this heat.
Date: Fair enough. Okay. Strike two. I’m not worried about a strike three because you are about to have the time of your life.
Deb and Date see a man in the distance. As they get closer, Security Guard approaches them.
Security Guard: You’re either really early or really late.
Date: What do you mean?
Security Guard: You’re either here for tomorrow’s game or late for today’s game. The game was at 1:00 pm.
Date: Sh*t.
Deb: And strike three.Conversation in Graduate School
Deb is in class. The Professor lectures about the Feminist Movement.
Professor: …some argue that the actual first feminist movement began in the 15th century…
Deb writes in her notebook - 15th century?
Professor:…but most say the first wave of feminism began and lasted from the 18th to the 20th century…
Deb scribbles down - 18th-20th first wave, feminism.
Professor: It’s important to note that…your eyebrows are beautifully shaped.
Deb looks up. Professor is staring at Random Student.
Professor: Beautifully shaped eyebrows are important as well. Moving on.
Deb returns to taking notes - make brow appointment - very important.
Conversation with Older Brother
Deb consults with older brother regarding her Halloween costume ideas.
Deb: I was thinking of dressing up as Velma for Halloween.
Brother throws his hands up in disgust.
Brother: Why do you insist on being the least attractive girl on Halloween? Aren’t girls suppose to dress like sluts on this holiday?
Deb: Velma’s slutty. Doesn’t she wear a sweater dress?
Brother: Stop. You’re embarrassing yourself.
